Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to all of our friends and family! We had a very special Holiday season this year because Curtis actually got to be home for all of it! Normally he works on Christmas so it was really nice to enjoy family time this year. He even got to sing in the choir at church, loved watching him join in something new. It was also a huge blessing to get to spend time with extended family. It had been a long time since I got to spend Christmas day with my dad and sister. One other neat thing about this Christmas was getting to celebrate in the house I grew up in. Decorating in this house brought back so many great memories of my mom. 
As we enter into a new year though it is hard to be hopeful. Most years January brings about renewed energy and hope for an even better year than the one before but I will be honest I am struggling with that this year. We have been in Lancaster for two months now and Curtis hasn't found a job and my Doula business is starting very slow. There are moments when I wonder if we made the right decision to move down here so quickly. But Curtis is amazing and is as optimistic as always and is always reassuring me that we made the right choice. God has provided for us so far and I know that He will continue to do. 
I know that I need to look at all the positives in our lives. We are truly so blessed even though we are going through this trial. We have three kids who are so adorable and healthy and bring so much joy to us everyday. We have supportive family so we know we will never be hungry or homeless. We have found a great church family down here. And Curtis is feeling really good and has not had any symptoms worsen. 
I always find so much comfort and encouragement through worship and Christian radio. So many songs speak to my heart when I am having a tough day. One in particular is the song "Just be held" by Casting Crowns. I am going to share some lines of it, hopefully it can encourage you if you are having a tough week or month as well. 
"So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held"

"If your eyes are on the storm

You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will"

Please continue to pray that Curtis will find a job. Also pray that we would learn to work together now that roles have changed. Its hard for Curtis to get used to being at home with the kids all of the time and its hard for me to be away from the kids so much. So pray that we can both put in extra effort to keep life normal and joyful for the kiddos even when we are tired and stressed. Pray for our continued health, I keep getting sick and I really need to stay healthy to keep working. Pray that I would see more hope this week and run to Christ alone with my worries and fears.

Thank you all so much for letting me share my feelings and prayer requests!